What is FemDom?
I tried looking these definitions up online and I prefer to use my own explanations for what I am writing and why.
I delved into my own journey as a Dominatrix many years ago when I met a submissive man. We played together on and off for years and he taught me as much about myself as he did about the lifestyle. Eventually we parted ways and years later I wrote a book based on that journey. That book, the Pussycat Domme, has never been published. Here's a short blog post based on my beginnings.
Though the terms Dom and Domme occur in the BDSM lifestyle, the idea of female dominance in the bedroom is not new.
The idea of a woman taking control of her own sexual needs is something I personally encourage all women to do regardless of whether you're in a traditional relationship, you are a BDSM sub or a Domme. The common denominator is the empowerment of yourself, however this may be achieved.
I want to provide some quotes here because as you will see (per research and famous studies)- even Dominant men like women to take control in the bedroom.
Excerpts taken from : Rachel Swift's - How to Have an Orgasm...As Often As You Want Kindle Edition - Pages 58 through 61
From The 1976 Hite Report on Female Sexuality (these are interviews with men):
"I hate making sexual advances. It makes me feel vulgar and crude."
"I usually make the initial sexual advance. How do I feel about it? I feel precisely that I am less desirable to the woman than she is to me; and fairly often I feel I'm frightening her. That is one hell of a way to begin. When the woman does make the sexual advance, that alone gives me very positive feelings."
"I almost always make the initial sexual advance in all my relationships and I hate it! I feel like I am stealing something or forcing her to do something she may in fact not want to do."
"I have a lot of trouble making the initial sexual advance. If I think about it long enough, I always come up with enough doubt to keep me from doing anything."
"A very aggressive approach by my wife would really be great. For example, if she were to unzip me and pull out my genitals and start to play with them or if she would start undressing me, I would love it. I'd love to be a sex object at least for a while. I think I'd probably have a heart attack if some woman said to me, "You turn me on and I'd like to make love with you." I often wish they'd be more up-front and tell me what they have in mind. I wonder if they tell Redford in advance."
By Rachel Swift. How to Have an Orgasm...As Often As You Want (p. 60). Kindle Edition.
"Hite concludes that while "only a handful of men said they always preferred to be the aggressor . . . Over and over again . . . men said they wished the woman would make the first advance."
"And never confuse refusal to be "passive" with being loud, aggressive and "unfeminine." I personally think the limited notions of what is acceptable "feminine" behavior are laughable. After all, strong, dominant women can be as hugely attractive as frail, feminine men. But that is not my point. You can be as firm and insistent as you like, as quietly as you like. In fact, quiet insistence, or refusal to give in or compromise,
is often the most effective.
Have you ever seduced a man? By which I don't mean have you led him on to seducing you-"I chased her till she caught me," as some wit once remarked. I mean have you ever been in a situation with a man where you had the upper hand? Have you ever felt really in control of the evening, from the moment you stepped out of the front door to the moment you fell asleep beside him? It's a wonderful, heady feeling. And, believe me, it works wonders for your sexual ability."
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As you can see - FemDom is merely a label like so many others. I will be sharing my own journey as a Mistress (both through my blog and as short stories available on Amazon), encouraging women to tap into the Dominant part of themselves.
by Rain Star
I delved into my own journey as a Dominatrix many years ago when I met a submissive man. We played together on and off for years and he taught me as much about myself as he did about the lifestyle. Eventually we parted ways and years later I wrote a book based on that journey. That book, the Pussycat Domme, has never been published. Here's a short blog post based on my beginnings.
Though the terms Dom and Domme occur in the BDSM lifestyle, the idea of female dominance in the bedroom is not new.
The idea of a woman taking control of her own sexual needs is something I personally encourage all women to do regardless of whether you're in a traditional relationship, you are a BDSM sub or a Domme. The common denominator is the empowerment of yourself, however this may be achieved.
I want to provide some quotes here because as you will see (per research and famous studies)- even Dominant men like women to take control in the bedroom.
Excerpts taken from : Rachel Swift's - How to Have an Orgasm...As Often As You Want Kindle Edition - Pages 58 through 61
From The 1976 Hite Report on Female Sexuality (these are interviews with men):
"I hate making sexual advances. It makes me feel vulgar and crude."
"I usually make the initial sexual advance. How do I feel about it? I feel precisely that I am less desirable to the woman than she is to me; and fairly often I feel I'm frightening her. That is one hell of a way to begin. When the woman does make the sexual advance, that alone gives me very positive feelings."
"I almost always make the initial sexual advance in all my relationships and I hate it! I feel like I am stealing something or forcing her to do something she may in fact not want to do."
"I have a lot of trouble making the initial sexual advance. If I think about it long enough, I always come up with enough doubt to keep me from doing anything."
"A very aggressive approach by my wife would really be great. For example, if she were to unzip me and pull out my genitals and start to play with them or if she would start undressing me, I would love it. I'd love to be a sex object at least for a while. I think I'd probably have a heart attack if some woman said to me, "You turn me on and I'd like to make love with you." I often wish they'd be more up-front and tell me what they have in mind. I wonder if they tell Redford in advance."
By Rachel Swift. How to Have an Orgasm...As Often As You Want (p. 60). Kindle Edition.
"Hite concludes that while "only a handful of men said they always preferred to be the aggressor . . . Over and over again . . . men said they wished the woman would make the first advance."
"And never confuse refusal to be "passive" with being loud, aggressive and "unfeminine." I personally think the limited notions of what is acceptable "feminine" behavior are laughable. After all, strong, dominant women can be as hugely attractive as frail, feminine men. But that is not my point. You can be as firm and insistent as you like, as quietly as you like. In fact, quiet insistence, or refusal to give in or compromise,
is often the most effective.
Have you ever seduced a man? By which I don't mean have you led him on to seducing you-"I chased her till she caught me," as some wit once remarked. I mean have you ever been in a situation with a man where you had the upper hand? Have you ever felt really in control of the evening, from the moment you stepped out of the front door to the moment you fell asleep beside him? It's a wonderful, heady feeling. And, believe me, it works wonders for your sexual ability."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
As you can see - FemDom is merely a label like so many others. I will be sharing my own journey as a Mistress (both through my blog and as short stories available on Amazon), encouraging women to tap into the Dominant part of themselves.
by Rain Star
