A Mistress finds her first submissive

Photo by Jakob Puff

When I found my very first submissive (online) I didn’t identify as a Top or Mistress yet. What drew me to him were his alternate looks. In the first several photos he wore a suit. In another, a collar and in a third, make-up and a collar. What struck me was that I could bring him home to meet the family who would think he was conservative like them. But underneath it all, he was like me, alternative and fun.

One topic I come back to, over and over and over again is: who knows the real you? And by “you” I mean you, me, us, anyone.

We all have many different sides, many different passions. This particular submissive, sissybitch, feels that unless someone knows a specific number of things about him, they don’t fully know him. One of those things is his propensity for kink, being submissive and most importantly, his need to fully inhabit his female persona. Thus, he feels that his parents don’t truly know him and neither do most of his friends.

I, like you, and everyone else on this planet, have many sides. I have many different passions, beliefs and even personas. I have my work persona. My Mistress persona. I have my performer persona. My artistic persona. My dog mom persona. My author persona. I am one way with acquaintances and another way with my friends. I am very different with my kinky friends and most people will never meet my sadistic Mistress self. I have a traveling self and a sober alcoholic self. There are key things in my life, things I do every single day, things that define me as a person, that my parents will never know about me. But I do not believe that this means my parents or my friends don’t truly know me though some do not.

My own definition of self is defined by two things. The one-word core of who I am, my go-to emotion. And my qualities. Morals play into this a bit too but that gets stickier so I’ll focus on the first two.
My go-to emotion is excitement. I get excited over the smallest things, every single day. I may not jump up and down or even express it in words but I feel it inside. It’s a welling up of joy that permeates everything I do whether that event is merely writing a blog post, going to see a theater production, traveling to some distant place, meeting a friend or whipping a submissive. The qualities I believe in and embody are: optimism, freedom and compassion.

Anyone who takes the time to get to know me, knows these things about me. I don’t say them, they’re who I am. And if someone sees the real me, the true me, they see all of these things. What I do, that people in my life don’t know about, is not what defines me.

I’m not saying it’s this way for everyone or that everyone should believe this. What’s true for me, for example, is not true for sissybitch. He believes that people need to know certain things about him and his life to know the real him, and that’s fantastic.
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I find this topic fascinating and will keep asking others how they feel about this subject. Always learning.

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Thank you for reading!
~Rain Star

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