On Fetlife, I posted an excerpt from a cockstomping scene that I wrote in Submission in Barcelona. I received a comment asking if it was taken from a real life experience.
No, it was not. At the time I wrote that short story I had yet to experience cockstomping in all its glory and delight. But I was studying it.
I first heard about cockstomping from my mentor, Mistress Scarlet. We spoke about it a great deal. Scarlet recommends using a table and her husband, bitchboy built one for her. She sent me videos and my interest grew. I found more videos. I read more about it. I studied it for several months.
I told two of my submissives about it and they both attempted to build a table for me. One was successful and I’ve been using it on him, quite happily, ever since.
To date I think I’ve used it four times, I lose track! The last time I decided to give my bare feet a try. The other times I wore boots. One pair with spiked heels, which hurt subby boytoy quite a bit and another pair with rectangular heels.
Either, this time I was overzealous and went for much longer, or I stomped harder because I wasn’t wearing shoes. Probably both. Regardless, boytoy reported that five days later his princess parts were still chaffed and aching which pleased me greatly.
Cockstomping is a skill, like any other. It takes practice and dedication. There are two different ways to use a table. One way is to pull the cock and balls through but just stomp on the cock and the other way is to pull the cock through only. This is the way Mistress Scarlet does it and I prefer this way as well. I have tried both. The balls are distracting and I have to focus more, not to stomp on them because you can’t and shouldn’t ever stomp on the balls.
When I first began, I did not put my entire weight on the shaft, especially when I was using the heel part of the boot. But with my bare feet I did. I even used both feet at once. It was delightful. I rubbed back and forth with each foot so that boytoy could experience both pleasure and pain.
In the end he was rewarded with a golden shower, fisting and an orgasm. Lucky sub!
I recently saw a photo on twitter where the sub was kneeling with his cock on a small table. The Mistress stood atop the table for the stomping. I do not like this at all. If the submissive pulls away and crouches down, he could be seriously or permanently injured. I am a sadist but I don’t want to permanently injure anyone! Although the table kneeling if an interesting way to get the job done without anyone building anything I don’t think it’s a good idea. A Mistress friend of mine has her sub lay on his back or stomach with his legs spread wide and she stomps on his member as it lays useless between his legs on the floor. This is a much safer way to stomp without using a cock stomping table.
I’d love to hear from you if you have experience giving or receiving in this area. If you receive: what do you like about it? If you give: what’s your favorite method? Or anything else you’d like to share 👢😈
~ Mistress Rain Star
I’m clean and sober and I have been for almost 12 years. But what does this have to do with Topping? EVERYTHING! It has abso-fucking-lutely everything to do with who I am and how I Top. I wrote a cockstomping blog before this one but you’ll have to wait for that because this is currently on my mind.
Because I don’t drink or use, I’m never not “in my right mind”. I don’t have excuses and I don’t use made-up reasons for who or what I am. Not only am I clean and sober, I’m in several 12 step programs and have been in weekly therapy for almost 2 decades. I don’t say this to brag. I say this because I know why I am Dominant and if I choose to play mind games with a submissive, it’s planned and it’s also in good fun. I am not passive aggressive, I don’t have some fucked up agenda. Now maybe some bottoms are looking for that and that’s fine, but they’re not going to find it here.
I also think sobriety is important during BDSM play especially. There is always the possibility that someone can get hurt, temporarily or even permanently. Alcohol and drugs up that ante. Not only are inhibitions lowered while imbibing, but so is common sense. And, also of utmost importance, pain receptors are dulled. Combine this with the hormones that are released, for both the Dominant and the submissive and you have a potent cocktail that could lead to tragedy.
My sober journey was long and steep. I didn’t hit a bottom like so many of my friends did. I didn’t go to jail but I could have. I did everything wrong and illegal and screwed up. I got lucky. That said, my life was not rosey. It was a hellish nightmare. And yet, I’m truly grateful for those years. It taught me what I do and what I don’t want. My birth family are all active alcoholics. They are sick and abusive and nasty people. They play mind games, gaslight, physically and emotionally cripple one another and make up meaningless daily dramas. I watch from afar. Sometimes I can find humor in the situation, but most of the time I have to disconnect completely.
The reason I decided to blog about sobriety is because I get a lot of emails on Fet from people who use. They’re either super into alcohol or they’re super into pot. These are huge red flags for me. I can’t waste my time talking to active addicts, unless they’re asking for help. Why? Because I’m not talking to a person, I’m talking to their drugs. I didn’t even know who I truly was until I’d been clean and sober for several years and… I keep evolving but in a healthy way, not in a fucked up way. And yes I am told this by my trained therapist :)
Do I think there are true “normies” as they’re called in program? A normie is someone who can use but not to excess. They drink “normally”. Sure, I do think those people exist but in my experience, they’re rare. Most of the people I’ve met who call themselves normies “need a drink” when XYZ happens. “Needing a drink” is alcoholic speak. Most of these people have major personality changes when they’re drunk. This too is a pretty good indicator that you’re an alcoholic. Regardless, I have no desire to be around most people who are drinking. When I’m in a business setting I may have little choice but in my personal life I have every right.
So yeah, if you use drugs, alcohol or both to excess, don’t contact me unless you want to be pointed to a 12 step program or a treatment center. I am not interested in interacting with people’s addictions and quite frankly you have nothing to offer yourself so there’s no way in hell you have anything to offer me or society. Harsh words but true ones. If you want to get help, it’s out there, everywhere. My local kink club even offers 12 step meetings for addicts and I bet yours does too!
Here's the 20 question AA "quiz" to see if you qualify, you can substitute your drug of choice for the word alcohol. (ie: pot, adderall, valium, oxy, etc.)
I wish you only the best. Live to your fullest potential!
I’m not a long distance Domme, however this blog will cover just that. During this time of coronavirus/Covid-19, I spent a month in isolation without seeing my submissive face-to-face.
A couple of months ago I wanted to develop a rewards/punishments system for my primary submissive. I spoke with another Domme who uses colored marbles and while there are elements I like about this, it doesn’t work for me.
The positives about a physical reward system: They are always visible. The bottom can touch and play with them. They represent a further level of engagement.
The negatives about a physical reward system: If the Mistress and sub/slave don’t live together, they can only be in one person’s house. If they’re in the sub/slave’s house, the Mistress must trust them not to add more than they’ve earned and/or keep her own count separately. There is more room for error.
I chose a free app called “Our Home” and I love it. It works on android and iPhone (I have one platform and my sub has the other and it works seamlessly). The sub is given points for doing things the Mistress requires and they lose points for non-compliance - or anything else the Mistress deems negative.
After the sub earns a certain number of points he may exchange them for rewards. My sub’s main reward is masturbation. Since I control his little clitty and he arrived without proper training and a high sex drive, he was used to masturbating daily. When he became MINE, he is now allowed to come once a week, on his own without extra points. If he can accrue 250 points he may masturbate again.
Our Home has categories but I added new ones like “sex” and “service”. Before Covid isolation my sub had many opportunities to earn points. He could do service, like vacuum my house, do my dishes, make dinner and earn points. He also earned points by going on an hour hike with me, worshiping my body (which was a reward at first), giving me orgasms, etc. After Covid isolation I had to think of ways he could earn points while we weren’t together.
One of my most favorite things is chastity. If my sub wears his cage for a full day, he gains points. My other favorites are feminization, sissification and cross dressing. If my sub wears panties all day, he gains more points. Since he can no longer go to the gym, and he was a gym rat, he gains points for exercising on his own. And so on.
I added other rewards my sub could claim when we weren’t together but masturbation is his favorite, though he must ALWAYS ask permission prior to engaging in it.
There are plenty of other ways to Dominate a sub while remaining apart, both in rewards and punishments. With rewards there can be phone sex and video sex (use the Signal app for these as it’s encrypted). And, many couples like more micro-managing though I do not. If you’re one of those parties that does, there are other things to add. Some of these include: food choices, eating times, exercise choices and times, house cleaning or just picking up after oneself, specific books or articles to read, tv or movie watching (both specific ones or limiting), screens, video games, etc. The list is endless.
The most important thing is for the Mistress to have FUN with this and for the submissive to have to work hard for their rewards. Their punishments should make them miserable! I remove points whenever my submissive does anything I don’t like. For example he played an April Fool’s joke on me. I don’t like that. I docked him 25 points and when he came to see me after our 1 month isolation I gave him a large number of painful welts on his ass and inner thighs that he still had 2 days later 😈
This made ME very happy and that’s all that truly matters!
I also have recurring items set up… he HAS to wear his cage 1 day a week and he HAS to wear panties 2 days a week. If he fails, points are removed. If he wears either, more than his allotted time, points are added.
Set up your own systems, it’s very enjoyable and the limit is your imagination 😉
~ By Rain Star
What does it mean to be truly submissive? Are there variants? Yes and no. There are many people who identify as switches and can be a Top or bottom but a true submissive is a very different creature. While a true submissive can “play” Top if need be, it makes them uncomfortable and it simply doesn’t feel right. It’s total play acting and some cannot even get sexually excited over it.
While there are a plethora of different types of submissives, the psychology that lays behind what makes each person submissive is relatively similar. The different types are dependent on what gets them off.
Several types of submissives (this is not a full list):
What every “true” submissive has in common is their need to be Dominated. There are various degrees of course, such as 24/7 or only in the bedroom but every single submissive I know is wired similarly. They want to be told what to do, they need to be told what to do, they crave it. It’s a turn on for them and so is making their Mistress or Master happy. This is their true nature. They are here to serve and if they aren’t serving someone, in some way, they are unfulfilled.
~ Rain Star
Since embarking on my full fledged femdom journey I’ve interviewed a myriad of potential submissives. I’m not interested in needy, annoying, disrespectful, nasty, sarcastic, abusive, bratty, manipulative, narcissistic, anyone who is broke and looking for a free ride, a substance abuser, a woman hater/mysoginist, someone who thinks they’re better than me, anyone who is controlling or passive aggressive. I shouldn’t have to cough up that list but unfortunately I do because I’ve encountered some of these.
At first I tried to be kind and say I wasn’t interested. Some respected my words, as not only a good submissive should but EVERYONE should! But others just got needier and more annoying. One continues to contact me, creating different FL profiles and continuing to send me emails which I ignore and block.
Another was so disrespectful when I met him in person that I told him I wasn’t interested but he couldn’t take no for an answer. That is abusive behavior! Again, I tried to be nice but firm. He took this to mean I wanted to keep talking to him. I didn’t. I finally gave him a rule and told him if he broke it, he would be blocked forever. He broke it quickly. I blocked him. He tried to reach me through every channel possible. I blocked him on every channel without responding. This is not endearing in any way. This is STALKING!
D/s aside - if someone says they’re not interested and don’t want to speak to you again - leave them the fuck alone!
Does this mean I’m no longer nice to potential submissives? It does not. I lay out my boundaries and if they break any of them, I’m done. I don’t have the time or the patience. I have numerous people contacting me daily and I have several submissive play partners that are amazing and keep me quite happy.
My first taste of the lifestyle was with a submissive almost 15 years ago. I wasn't ready to submerge myself at that time but I loved the exploration. We were on and off for many years. I experienced a new sense of freedom and excitement that exceeded my wildest dreams.
In the end I fell in love with him and he fell in love with someone else. It wasn't meant to be and I took my ravaged heart and moved on. What I didn't realize at that time is that I was play acting. I wasn't a true Domme, I was trying it on, like an ill-fitting outfit.
Years and two long term relationships chugged by but I never forgot my first sissy sub. There were a lot of things I adored about him. His kinks were hot, he was fun to hang out with, his intellect was just as sexy as the rest of him and he was and still is, the best cook I’ve ever known. After a brutal breakup in 2018, I contacted him again and he responded, available/ish and interested in another go around.
We had a six week contract and I jumped in this time with both feet. I read books, I got a mentor, I talked to quite a few other Domme’s and I followed my intuition.
What I discovered is that I’m good at it and I love it. I found out that I am a sadist, in the healthiest sense of the word. I am interested in all the ways I can make someone squirm and it turns me on immensely to do so.
My sissy sub and I embarked on a fun filled six weeks (fun for me = torture for him) but he wasn’t at the right place for anything more and it wasn’t the right time for either one of us. Instead we remain friends, for now.
Author: Rain Star
Mistress Rain began her writing career at a very early age. She's published almost a dozen novels (under a different pseudonym), has written for television and film and spends much of her time with her nose buried in the furry coat of her constant canine companion. The rest of her time is spent telling her stable of subs what they can do for her.