To Look or not to Look...

Last week someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way. This in itself isn't unusual, it happens to all of us, all the time. But this time, it stuck with me and thus, earned a blog post.

The conversation began about exercise. He made some comment about working out in relation to older *women. I commented on the fact that so many women in our county exercise regardless of age.  His next comment was: "Yes, I've noticed how many women here keep in shape and I realized it was to keep their men from looking at other women."

I had to refrain myself from lunging at his throat. Especially when he turned to me said, "don't you agree." HELL NO I DO NOT AGREE and I told him so.

​Why is it perceived by some men that everything a woman does is to look good for them? 

I think my response was something like, "Are you f-ing kidding me? Why would any woman care if her man looked at other women? That's not a motivating factor for staying in shape. We do it because it makes US feel good. We don't do it for men!"

His comment was pejorative, and patronizing. It was assuming and ignorant. I know he's not a bad person but he's disgustingly misinformed. I can only assume he was projecting as well. Maybe he's had a woman he was dating, ogle another man and it made him feel "less then".

​I can also surmise that each woman's reason for getting and staying fit may be different as well, but to assume that ALL women do it to please a man and keep his eyes from wandering is disgusting, untrue and highly offensive.

An aside about the wandering eye. Many dominant men have such an affliction. The better ones learn to control it. To be ogled by a man in public does not feel good, to most women. To be objectified is to be compartmentalized, slapped into the sex box and seen as an object whose only benefit is to sexually gratify a man. Most bisexual women, non-binary, trans and lesbians do not do this. So if a man's eye wanders IMO, it has absolutely nothing to do with the woman (or man) he's with. It wanders because he hasn't learned to control himself and respect a woman's space. It doesn't matter whether his girlfriend or wife is thin or not, young and gorgeous or not, rich and successful or not. A man with a wandering eye has little insight into himself or how he is perceived by others. I've seen men ogle others while adorned with a gorgeous women propped on their arm.

This "issue" is about the male's character, not about the female's fitness regime or lack thereof.

​~Rain Star 
*women is the term I'm using for all people who identify as female.

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