I just threw this into my newsletter that goes out tomorrow but it's so important to me and relevant that I'm making it a blog post too --- not everything about me has to do with sex.
I don't usually use my author platforms to get on my political soapbox but I can't ignore what's happening in America. If you'd rather not read this just skip it. I'm the kind of person that needs to know the WHY about pretty much everything. Why do people do what they do? I'm learning that in some cases (Jeffrey Epstein) it doesn't matter why. That monster was a deplorable human being and that's enough. But when it comes to social injustice, abusive behavior and our president I search for meaning. After all - I know exactly why I'm a sadist Femdom Dominatrix. So in search for answers, as I'm a truthseeker, I found Sarah Kendzior and her new book - Hiding in Plain Sight - The Invention of Donald Trump and the Erosion of America. This book, I bought all 3 versions: kindle, audible and hardcover so I can support her is the WHY I've been searching for. If you're passionate about this subject matter/topic, please reach out to me. My primary submissive is not interested in politics and I would love to talk to people who are. I threatened him with reading this book vs 24/7 chastity (which he abhors) and I think he'd actually prefer chastity LMAO. (I still love you hole 😈💘)
✊🏾 The other huge topic here is BLM. Black Lives DO MATTER!!!!! ✊🏾
What's happened in America (and other places) to squash the rights of POC and the killing of blacks is one of the biggest injustices of our world.
Four years ago I posted #blacklivesmatter on Facebook and my father canceled me. Goodbye racist prick is my response to that. We haven't spoken (verbally) since. He tried to reconnect with me at the beginning of Covid over email but after 3 back and forths he dissolved into his drunk, abusive, asshole personna again and that was the end of that. My choice. I won't compromise. I don't have to.
- if you don't understand BLM and you want to, watch these:
✊🏾 Michael Che
✊🏾 White Lady Explains BLM
- the link to Sarah's book above is an affiliate link so I'll get a few cents if you buy her book but that's not why you need to buy (and read or listen to) it!
~Mistress Rain Star
On Fetlife, I posted an excerpt from a cockstomping scene that I wrote in Submission in Barcelona. I received a comment asking if it was taken from a real life experience.
No, it was not. At the time I wrote that short story I had yet to experience cockstomping in all its glory and delight. But I was studying it.
I first heard about cockstomping from my mentor, Mistress Scarlet. We spoke about it a great deal. Scarlet recommends using a table and her husband, bitchboy built one for her. She sent me videos and my interest grew. I found more videos. I read more about it. I studied it for several months.
I told two of my submissives about it and they both attempted to build a table for me. One was successful and I’ve been using it on him, quite happily, ever since.
To date I think I’ve used it four times, I lose track! The last time I decided to give my bare feet a try. The other times I wore boots. One pair with spiked heels, which hurt subby boytoy quite a bit and another pair with rectangular heels.
Either, this time I was overzealous and went for much longer, or I stomped harder because I wasn’t wearing shoes. Probably both. Regardless, boytoy reported that five days later his princess parts were still chaffed and aching which pleased me greatly.
Cockstomping is a skill, like any other. It takes practice and dedication. There are two different ways to use a table. One way is to pull the cock and balls through but just stomp on the cock and the other way is to pull the cock through only. This is the way Mistress Scarlet does it and I prefer this way as well. I have tried both. The balls are distracting and I have to focus more, not to stomp on them because you can’t and shouldn’t ever stomp on the balls.
When I first began, I did not put my entire weight on the shaft, especially when I was using the heel part of the boot. But with my bare feet I did. I even used both feet at once. It was delightful. I rubbed back and forth with each foot so that boytoy could experience both pleasure and pain.
In the end he was rewarded with a golden shower, fisting and an orgasm. Lucky sub!
I recently saw a photo on twitter where the sub was kneeling with his cock on a small table. The Mistress stood atop the table for the stomping. I do not like this at all. If the submissive pulls away and crouches down, he could be seriously or permanently injured. I am a sadist but I don’t want to permanently injure anyone! Although the table kneeling if an interesting way to get the job done without anyone building anything I don’t think it’s a good idea. A Mistress friend of mine has her sub lay on his back or stomach with his legs spread wide and she stomps on his member as it lays useless between his legs on the floor. This is a much safer way to stomp without using a cock stomping table.
I’d love to hear from you if you have experience giving or receiving in this area. If you receive: what do you like about it? If you give: what’s your favorite method? Or anything else you’d like to share 👢😈
~ Mistress Rain Star
I have been a writer and a reader my entire life. As a child my family sat around and read together instead of watching TV. It was our past-time and it was our bonding time, alone, yet together. Each of us would perch on a different area of the couch and read. The first thing I remember writing was an article that was published in the school newspaper in second grade.
In 2016 I started writing and publishing full length novels. It’s been a difficult road, I won’t lie. There’s an art to it. My first 3 novels lay under the bed and will probably never be published. I had to learn along the way. I graduated college with a degree in screenwriting. I read books about writing novels, publishing, editing and marketing. I took hundreds of hours of online and in-person classes. I still read craft books and take writing classes today. I attended almost a dozen writing conferences. I hired editors, cover designers, marketing peeps, the works. I wrote and published 11 novels under another pen-name between 2016 and 2018 and while I love most of them and I earn on them, I don’t make a living from them. Writing is really fucking hard. Editing is harder. Publishing is another burning hoop. And marketing… hell onto itsownself. I don’t say this to discourage, I think everyone who wants to write and publish should do it. I say this because it’s true and people who don’t do it, have no idea how hard it truly is.
I made a lot of money with one of my series. Money that most people would be ecstatic to make and I’m thrilled about it but what onlookers don’t see is the money I spent. Each full length novel cost me $2K to publish. That’s right, you read correctly, two thousand dollars EACH. Do most of those earn that money back? Hell no, they do not. Does everyone spend $2K per published novel. No, they do not but many of those who don’t, should.
I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I want to be a good writer, not an okay writer and certainly not a bad writer. I study the art of writing. I study the art of editing. I study the ART of word mastery. I agonize over each sentence, each story, each plot, and each character.
When I started writing erotica shorts last year it was a new endeavor for me. I was used to the long form of full length novels, not the short form. It’s completely different. I didn’t do it to make a bazillion dollars because anyone who thinks that’s going to happen is, IMO, delusional. I started writing short eroticas because it was fun. I was tired of writing long novels that had ceased being fun for me. Writing those became dreary and painful and turned into WORK.
The other different "thing" about writing my erotica shorts is that I don't hire an editor, I don't agonize over perfection. I have fun with them instead and I put them out knowing they're not perfect, letting go of the control and embracing sticky uncertainty instead.
I abandoned my other pen-name 2 years ago and haven’t published anything under her since. And I’m okay with that. I can always go back to her if I want. She’s still out there, she’s still earning a tiny bit of money. She still has readers, but the genre annoyed me. It was romance. And tbh I’m not really a romantic person. It’s weird to admit that and even weirder to write it, to blog about it.
I’m a sexual person, I’m an optimistic person, I’m a person who believes in love and relationships and connection but romance the way it’s portrayed in books, NOPE. I think it sets up a false ideal that can never be met. Not every man has chiseled abs but in romance they all do. Not every man locks eyes with the heroine from across a crowded room and has to make her his, but in romance they all do. It’s unrealistic and it’s downright disgusting. Not every woman wants that either. I got tired of writing lies, that’s the bottom line of it.
When I started writing my shorts I no longer had to write lies. My shorts say more about who I am as a person and where my beliefs lay than most of my novels do. Not that there aren’t some truths in those, there are. And novels don’t have to be truth, they are supposed to be fantasy. I’m not shitting all over fantasies, we need that escape as humans, especially now. But there’s fantasy = dragons and vampires; and there’s fantasy = prince charming will save me. I prefer the former.
So while not every single thing I write about in my short erotica tales has happened, a lot of them have. The rest are fantasies, the kind that I can get behind ;)
As for long fiction, I’m still writing it. I have moved over to the dystopian genre, long before Covid. I’m a nihilistic, optimistic realist. I am a very happy person with a lot of love in my heart but I like some very dark things. That’s MY happy place. It’s not what appeals to everyone but what it took me many years to learn is that I can’t write to market, meaning, write what people WANT to read and what will ultimately earn $$$. I write for ME. If I don’t love what I’m writing, if it becomes a chore or no longer fun or feels like work and my passion for it dies, my soul burns to a crisp husk. Fuck that shit! I’m a Dominant woman and I do what I want, including writing run-on sentences if I feel like it. So there.
~~~ by Rain Star
You can find links to my Femdom erotic shorts on my homepage
I’m clean and sober and I have been for almost 12 years. But what does this have to do with Topping? EVERYTHING! It has abso-fucking-lutely everything to do with who I am and how I Top. I wrote a cockstomping blog before this one but you’ll have to wait for that because this is currently on my mind.
Because I don’t drink or use, I’m never not “in my right mind”. I don’t have excuses and I don’t use made-up reasons for who or what I am. Not only am I clean and sober, I’m in several 12 step programs and have been in weekly therapy for almost 2 decades. I don’t say this to brag. I say this because I know why I am Dominant and if I choose to play mind games with a submissive, it’s planned and it’s also in good fun. I am not passive aggressive, I don’t have some fucked up agenda. Now maybe some bottoms are looking for that and that’s fine, but they’re not going to find it here.
I also think sobriety is important during BDSM play especially. There is always the possibility that someone can get hurt, temporarily or even permanently. Alcohol and drugs up that ante. Not only are inhibitions lowered while imbibing, but so is common sense. And, also of utmost importance, pain receptors are dulled. Combine this with the hormones that are released, for both the Dominant and the submissive and you have a potent cocktail that could lead to tragedy.
My sober journey was long and steep. I didn’t hit a bottom like so many of my friends did. I didn’t go to jail but I could have. I did everything wrong and illegal and screwed up. I got lucky. That said, my life was not rosey. It was a hellish nightmare. And yet, I’m truly grateful for those years. It taught me what I do and what I don’t want. My birth family are all active alcoholics. They are sick and abusive and nasty people. They play mind games, gaslight, physically and emotionally cripple one another and make up meaningless daily dramas. I watch from afar. Sometimes I can find humor in the situation, but most of the time I have to disconnect completely.
The reason I decided to blog about sobriety is because I get a lot of emails on Fet from people who use. They’re either super into alcohol or they’re super into pot. These are huge red flags for me. I can’t waste my time talking to active addicts, unless they’re asking for help. Why? Because I’m not talking to a person, I’m talking to their drugs. I didn’t even know who I truly was until I’d been clean and sober for several years and… I keep evolving but in a healthy way, not in a fucked up way. And yes I am told this by my trained therapist :)
Do I think there are true “normies” as they’re called in program? A normie is someone who can use but not to excess. They drink “normally”. Sure, I do think those people exist but in my experience, they’re rare. Most of the people I’ve met who call themselves normies “need a drink” when XYZ happens. “Needing a drink” is alcoholic speak. Most of these people have major personality changes when they’re drunk. This too is a pretty good indicator that you’re an alcoholic. Regardless, I have no desire to be around most people who are drinking. When I’m in a business setting I may have little choice but in my personal life I have every right.
So yeah, if you use drugs, alcohol or both to excess, don’t contact me unless you want to be pointed to a 12 step program or a treatment center. I am not interested in interacting with people’s addictions and quite frankly you have nothing to offer yourself so there’s no way in hell you have anything to offer me or society. Harsh words but true ones. If you want to get help, it’s out there, everywhere. My local kink club even offers 12 step meetings for addicts and I bet yours does too!
Here's the 20 question AA "quiz" to see if you qualify, you can substitute your drug of choice for the word alcohol. (ie: pot, adderall, valium, oxy, etc.)
I wish you only the best. Live to your fullest potential!
I’m not a long distance Domme, however this blog will cover just that. During this time of coronavirus/Covid-19, I spent a month in isolation without seeing my submissive face-to-face.
A couple of months ago I wanted to develop a rewards/punishments system for my primary submissive. I spoke with another Domme who uses colored marbles and while there are elements I like about this, it doesn’t work for me.
The positives about a physical reward system: They are always visible. The bottom can touch and play with them. They represent a further level of engagement.
The negatives about a physical reward system: If the Mistress and sub/slave don’t live together, they can only be in one person’s house. If they’re in the sub/slave’s house, the Mistress must trust them not to add more than they’ve earned and/or keep her own count separately. There is more room for error.
I chose a free app called “Our Home” and I love it. It works on android and iPhone (I have one platform and my sub has the other and it works seamlessly). The sub is given points for doing things the Mistress requires and they lose points for non-compliance - or anything else the Mistress deems negative.
After the sub earns a certain number of points he may exchange them for rewards. My sub’s main reward is masturbation. Since I control his little clitty and he arrived without proper training and a high sex drive, he was used to masturbating daily. When he became MINE, he is now allowed to come once a week, on his own without extra points. If he can accrue 250 points he may masturbate again.
Our Home has categories but I added new ones like “sex” and “service”. Before Covid isolation my sub had many opportunities to earn points. He could do service, like vacuum my house, do my dishes, make dinner and earn points. He also earned points by going on an hour hike with me, worshiping my body (which was a reward at first), giving me orgasms, etc. After Covid isolation I had to think of ways he could earn points while we weren’t together.
One of my most favorite things is chastity. If my sub wears his cage for a full day, he gains points. My other favorites are feminization, sissification and cross dressing. If my sub wears panties all day, he gains more points. Since he can no longer go to the gym, and he was a gym rat, he gains points for exercising on his own. And so on.
I added other rewards my sub could claim when we weren’t together but masturbation is his favorite, though he must ALWAYS ask permission prior to engaging in it.
There are plenty of other ways to Dominate a sub while remaining apart, both in rewards and punishments. With rewards there can be phone sex and video sex (use the Signal app for these as it’s encrypted). And, many couples like more micro-managing though I do not. If you’re one of those parties that does, there are other things to add. Some of these include: food choices, eating times, exercise choices and times, house cleaning or just picking up after oneself, specific books or articles to read, tv or movie watching (both specific ones or limiting), screens, video games, etc. The list is endless.
The most important thing is for the Mistress to have FUN with this and for the submissive to have to work hard for their rewards. Their punishments should make them miserable! I remove points whenever my submissive does anything I don’t like. For example he played an April Fool’s joke on me. I don’t like that. I docked him 25 points and when he came to see me after our 1 month isolation I gave him a large number of painful welts on his ass and inner thighs that he still had 2 days later 😈
This made ME very happy and that’s all that truly matters!
I also have recurring items set up… he HAS to wear his cage 1 day a week and he HAS to wear panties 2 days a week. If he fails, points are removed. If he wears either, more than his allotted time, points are added.
Set up your own systems, it’s very enjoyable and the limit is your imagination 😉
~ By Rain Star
What does it mean to be truly submissive? Are there variants? Yes and no. There are many people who identify as switches and can be a Top or bottom but a true submissive is a very different creature. While a true submissive can “play” Top if need be, it makes them uncomfortable and it simply doesn’t feel right. It’s total play acting and some cannot even get sexually excited over it.
While there are a plethora of different types of submissives, the psychology that lays behind what makes each person submissive is relatively similar. The different types are dependent on what gets them off.
Several types of submissives (this is not a full list):
What every “true” submissive has in common is their need to be Dominated. There are various degrees of course, such as 24/7 or only in the bedroom but every single submissive I know is wired similarly. They want to be told what to do, they need to be told what to do, they crave it. It’s a turn on for them and so is making their Mistress or Master happy. This is their true nature. They are here to serve and if they aren’t serving someone, in some way, they are unfulfilled.
~ Rain Star
I’ve been reticent to write about findom, although I’ve wanted to address it for a long time.
I do not practice findom in the sense of having a submissive give me money for my rent or household expenses. My reasons for this are simply because it doesn’t feel right for me. However, I do not wish to judge those who do practice it on an ethical level. I was raised in an old-fashioned household where the man went to work all day and the woman stayed home and raised the children. I hated that outdated paradigm. It felt fundamentally wrong to me. From an early age I knew I never wanted to be financially dependent on anyone. I would earn my own way and I have.
One example of a findom relationship that works: I have a friend (not kinky or in a D/s relationship) who decided she did want a man to support her and she went on a transparent dating website. She found a doctor who wanted to give her money for dating him and for awhile it worked. What made it work, in my opinion, was the transparency. She told him up front that she needed financial help. She explained she wasn’t going to exchange sex for money but she was hoping to receive money for her time. They dated for a few months, during which time he happily paid her rent and more. She was attracted to him and they even tried a physical relationship which worked for awhile until it didn’t. But what stands out for me again, is the transparency. Both people understood their roles. They both said up front what they wanted and what they didn’t.
One example of a findom relationship that didn’t work: I know of another story, this one D/s where the sub desperately wanted to please his Mistress. They were in a long distance relationship and one of the ways he felt he could contribute was financially. This was his choice and it pleased both parties. However, the Mistress found out that the sub was giving her money he couldn’t afford to give. He was so enamored by her and wanted to please her so much that he ended up going into debt in order to do so. I’ve actually heard of this happening several times. This is one example of findom not working because of a submissive’s lack of transparency.
My example: I had a sub who could afford it, give me $100 for lunch once, when we weren’t together. It was one of his kinks and although it’s nice to be given money without strings attached, it didn’t feel right to me. However, if this feels right for both parties, this is a positive findom exchange.
The worst example of bad findom: This one pisses me off the most. It’s is when the Top is not transparent. I have a sub who dated a Domme that was looking for a sugar daddy. Instead of communicating her desires up front, as any responsible Dominent (male or Female) should do, this woman was dishonest. She asked the sub out on a date. He suggested coffee. She suggested dinner. He agreed and, being submissive, let her pick the restaurant. She picked the most expensive restaurant in her county, without asking him if he felt comfortable with it, or discussing who would pay. She led him on. She used him. She played him. The poor submissive showed up and when the Mistress asked him if he drank, he said no. She then proceeded to order several of the most expensive drinks on the menu. After the dinner was over she expected him to pay. She did not ask him to pay, it was expected. There was zero communication around this. She even ordered another drink, on his tab, as they were leaving. This is dispicable. I cannot think of many things that are more disrespectful than this. The poor sub didn’t know what hit him. He was upset over the interaction but he didn’t understand that she was using him, until I explained it. I spoke to several Domme’s and Mistresses about it and all of them were shocked by this woman’s behavior.
This is findom at its worst. This is flat out using someone. It’s taking advantage of a submissive’s good nature and it’s disgusting.
I do believe in exchanging goods and services for money. This is sales and it’s a clear transaction. For example, I have a list of fetish gear I want. I have listed the gear and the cost and have asked that if anyone would like to buy an item for me they will recieve photos or a video of me using the item on a submissive. Again noting that I am up-front about my needs, wants and desires - which I believe, is tantamount to any kind of monetary exchange.
So don’t be a sub that spends money they don’t have and don’t you dare be a Top that spends other people’s money without their prior consent!
My primary and I recently took our first trip together (to Mexico) and it was amazing. I consider myself an easy traveler but I have found that relationships can be put to the test with travel. I'm happy to report that he passed with flying colors (especially the color red - on his ass 😈).
When traveling, one has to be in vanilla mode in public but just because we appear vanilla, it doesn't mean that we are. He is often in a chastity cage under his clothes and more often than not, he's wearing a lacy thong or satin panties. I love it when he does this for two reasons. I love a sissy man in lingerie, it turns me on but more than that is his distress over being caught. That turns me on even more!
His suitcase was much larger than mine because it was full of toys. Of course, customs went through it all and left behind the proof but unfortunately, they didn't open it in front of him. An aside: I had that happen once when I had a carry-on. The TSA agent opened my bag and pulled out skeins of rope. She cocked her head at me and I shrugged and said "rock climbing". Had she delved even one layer further, she would have found my strap on. 😂
I may be a pampered Mistress but I pride myself on being low maintenance and this comes out mostly when I'm traveling. Last year I spent six weeks traveling through four European countries by myself with nothing more than a carry on. It's my happy place. On this trip I brought only my favorite small impact play impliment. As mentioned in my last post, I don't need much to initiate play. I have my fingernails and my teeth and I use them often, gleefully marking my territory.
We did stop in a leather store looking for some sandals for my primary and I found a six foot whip. Never having used one before I grabbed it and tried. The people working in the store snickered. I handed it to one of them and he was able to crack it over and over. He handed it back and I attempted but failed. My primary began taking photos and I stretched out and cracked him in the ass with it. Motivation. The people working shrieked in delight and immediately started talking to each other in Spanish. After haggling a fair price, I practiced with the whip in our hotel room and by the time we left Mexico I was able to crack it nicely.
Our trip was so fantastic that we've booked another one in May. Traveling in a D/s relationship is rewarding in so many ways. It gave us the one-on-one time we needed together to cement our connection. We got to know one another on a deeper level. He was able to show me just how much I matter to him and I was able to show him just how much I love marking him as MINE.
~ Rain Star
Sometimes a Domme has to improvise. I confess that I rarely set up scenes anymore. This leaves the improvisation free to grow and morph in some lovely ways.
Sometimes I look in my goodie-bag AKA toy-bag and pick out something I feel like using. Other times I let my submissives do that with the understanding that I may or may not use what they pick.
I’ve been having fun with it, a lot of fun. I’m also learning that I may not be a typical Mistress. I don’t do things “by the book”. I’m not overly serious. This will be a future blog post.
Getting to the fun of it. One of my favorite nights was when I brought a roll of saran wrap to MYslut’s house.
A close friend of mine had told how much fun she was having with saran wrap combined with impact play, especially on her breasts.
I wrapped him in saran wrap from groin to shoulders and poked several holes. 2 for his nipples and 1 for his dick, which I yanked through. He was wearing a rubber cockring.
I went through his play-drawer and found nipple clamps which I attached gleefully. After pulling, tweaking and sensitizing them with the clamps I spun him around and kicked him, face down onto the bed. He yelped quite loudly, which he rarely does and I checked in with him. The force of his fall had felt like his nipples were being torn off. They weren't. But it hurt. A lot. He couldn’t put his hands out to slow himself down, nor bend backwards from his knees—the wrong way. I double checked to make sure nothing was amiss or missing, chuckled at his pain and continued on with his delicious torture. Impact play on his back and ass with a slapper and a riding crop.
When I flipped him over his fingers were bloody but his arms were still bound. I asked him why and he shrugged, trying his best to look innocent.
“Have you been touching yourself?” I narrowed my eyes, examining his cock and the ring.
His eyes widened and he nodded, sucking in a bottom lip.
He’d managed to work his hands underneath himself, between his legs and had played with himself. The rubber ring had left a few tiny abrasions. I had not explicitly told him not to but it was implied. Instead of punishing him further I decided a bleeding dick and the nipple torture was adequate.
The next day his nipples still hurt, but that just made me happier since it meant I was on his mind all day long and he was still suffering for ME.
Not long ago I was visiting a submissive and didn’t have my toy-bag. I’m good on the go, no matter what. I have my nails and my teeth, which I use quite often. I can’t help myself :)
This person likes CBT and so do I. I’d tied him up before and wanted to do it again but there was nothing usable around so I removed my long necklace (that winds around my neck 3 times) and I used that. It was incredible. It worked perfectly though it did take his balls a full day to stop aching, something he explained happens to him regularly. I did not leave it on too long and checked their temperature regularly. If they get too cold, all torture devices must be removed pronto. No-one wants permanent damage in that area.
With MYslut I have taken to using whatever is at hand for CBT. Last week I used the tie to a dress I was wearing. The next night I used the lace thong he was wearing. That was delicious fun as he was humiliated and suffering! It reminded me of the playground “wedgie”, which I tried to bring back that night.
I’ve seen BDSM jewelry that looks like regular jewelry. Like nipple clamp earrings and while I love the idea of this, I find it easier to use my fingers, fingernails and teeth. They get the job done, I always have them with me and it’s much more intimate.
I’d love to hear if anyone else has any ideas or items that they use (or like to have used on them) in a pinch ;)
Warning: If you’re new to BDSM don’t go full throttle at the beginning. Study, learn, take classes, talk to others in the lifestyle. Always get verbal consent prior to doing anything to anyone. Don’t cover someone’s face in saran wrap, they have to breathe. Don’t tear anyone’s nipples, or other body parts off. Don’t permanently damage anyone’s body parts. Don’t do anything stupid.
When I found my very first submissive (online) I didn’t identify as a Top or Mistress yet. What drew me to him were his alternate looks. In the first several photos he wore a suit. In another, a collar and in a third, make-up and a collar. What struck me was that I could bring him home to meet the family who would think he was conservative like them. But underneath it all, he was like me, alternative and fun.
One topic I come back to, over and over and over again is: who knows the real you? And by “you” I mean you, me, us, anyone.
We all have many different sides, many different passions. This particular submissive, sissybitch, feels that unless someone knows a specific number of things about him, they don’t fully know him. One of those things is his propensity for kink, being submissive and most importantly, his need to fully inhabit his female persona. Thus, he feels that his parents don’t truly know him and neither do most of his friends.
I, like you, and everyone else on this planet, have many sides. I have many different passions, beliefs and even personas. I have my work persona. My Mistress persona. I have my performer persona. My artistic persona. My dog mom persona. My author persona. I am one way with acquaintances and another way with my friends. I am very different with my kinky friends and most people will never meet my sadistic Mistress self. I have a traveling self and a sober alcoholic self. There are key things in my life, things I do every single day, things that define me as a person, that my parents will never know about me. But I do not believe that this means my parents or my friends don’t truly know me though some do not.
My own definition of self is defined by two things. The one-word core of who I am, my go-to emotion. And my qualities. Morals play into this a bit too but that gets stickier so I’ll focus on the first two.
My go-to emotion is excitement. I get excited over the smallest things, every single day. I may not jump up and down or even express it in words but I feel it inside. It’s a welling up of joy that permeates everything I do whether that event is merely writing a blog post, going to see a theater production, traveling to some distant place, meeting a friend or whipping a submissive. The qualities I believe in and embody are: optimism, freedom and compassion.
Anyone who takes the time to get to know me, knows these things about me. I don’t say them, they’re who I am. And if someone sees the real me, the true me, they see all of these things. What I do, that people in my life don’t know about, is not what defines me.
I’m not saying it’s this way for everyone or that everyone should believe this. What’s true for me, for example, is not true for sissybitch. He believes that people need to know certain things about him and his life to know the real him, and that’s fantastic.
I find this topic fascinating and will keep asking others how they feel about this subject. Always learning.
Thank you for reading!
Author: Rain Star
Mistress Rain began her writing career at a very early age. She's published almost a dozen novels (under a different pseudonym), has written for television and film and spends much of her time with her nose buried in the furry coat of her constant canine companion. The rest of her time is spent telling her stable of subs what they can do for her.